literature

TMNT-Bring on the Thunder, Bring on the Rain

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Literature Text

The mud stuck and clung to April O'Neil's feet like desperate fingers holding on for dear life. It seeped through her toes and small minerals threatened to cut at her feet, but all that seeped into April's mind was the fact that she had to keep moving.

The woods around her blurred but yet she felt as though she couldn't move any slower. The rain fell hard and little droplets slapped against her face. It seemed as though mother nature was trying to turn her around, but she wouldn't. She couldn't.

April didn't know how much time had passed, but a creek came into view where the once calm stream was now overflowing with an angry current. When she got to the edge, she fell to her knees, her hair draping over her face and hiding her ghostly white face from any creature that dared to stick out the rain.

Her chest heaved, trying to suck in the air that she couldn't quite breathe in while she ran. Her body beneath her trembled, though April couldn't tell if it was from the cold, exhaustion, or her own feelings. Even if she did start crying, she wouldn't be able to tell with the rain running down her cheeks.

She had lost her mother. Again. The thought of it made April dig her fingers and nails into the mud and clench her jaw, feeling the tears behind her eyes. Her first ounce of hope besides the turtles in a long time was yanked from her, like a safety blanket yanked away from a child.

A nightmare had woken her up, where everyone she loved disappeared. She was shocked she didn't wake anyone up, though she was thankful in the end. She found her way downstairs, ignoring the fact that she had forgotten her shoes and the proper clothes to wear in the rain. All she wanted was to get away, far away.

April hated the Kraang more than anything now. This wasn't just about New York, this was personal on every level. If her mom is still out there, Irma, her dad...Splinter, she would find them and set them free, even if it meant sacrificing herself.

The thought of revenge didn't soothe her, but the thought of one day reuniting with everyone who was taken away from her eased her muscles. April bowed her head to the water, her eyes locking with her reflection.

April almost didn't recognize herself, but the red hair and piercing blue eyes gave herself away. It wasn't until just then April realized just how far she had come since all of this had started.

April's once soft, blue eyes were now hardened, as though ready for a battle whether it was physical or mental. Her face had light scars on it from all the fights she had to fight, her lips now set in a slight grimace she'll probably never be able to shake off. And for what price?

The girl in front of her was no longer a girl. No, that innocence was killed the day the Kraang came into her life. She wasn't afraid anymore, she wasn't going to run away when things got tough like she used to. Now she can stand her ground, fight her own battles, and she knew that no one could take her down without a good struggle.

She is April O'Neil, though she herself didn't quite know what that meant anymore. It was just a name she was given. It once represented everything about her, but now, she realized that her name could be stripped from her like the rest of her sanity but in the end it was she who made herself who she was. And that's all that mattered.

April stood up, the mud sticking to her hands, knees and feet. She looked up at the sky behind the branches of the trees, not daring to blink or tremble beneath the weather's gaze. She had been reborn, and the heavens above her seemed to tremble with her newfound power and strength. April smiled. Bring on the thunder, bring on the rain. She is ready.
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Illusionna's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Impact

This scene is beautifully written, it flows wonderfully, and the wording is very poetic. You set up at the very beginning that she was not in usual attire by her feet being bare, so the reader isn't shocked to find out that she left the farmhouse quickly.

The only issue I have with the story is the very last four sentences. I don't see the "being reborn." I see someone who is shocked at the changes that she sees in herself.

I think giving more of April's thought's, as you have done with the rest of the story, when "She who made herself who she was", it would give the piece more of a flow at the end. The flow is fabulous until that point.

Keep up the good work!